from hell, with love

on the edge of 33:

• gave up the wars that made others powerful.
• left corporations to burn without me.
• ended a two-year cycle of abuse.
• let my own empire sink.
• plucked my very first gray hair.
• missed the roads and the feeling of being home for holiday. again. became the town's monster.

then came the strange little resurrections.

• healing in unexpected people and places.
• stumbled upon a matriarchal ethnic minority group in the middle of nowhere.
• taking mystery rides without needing to know where they take me.
• won best costume at a themed party.
• got called in unexpectedly for a spiritual cleansing by an old friend. it worked.
• late wine nights.
• very late Tequila nights.
• conversations that went everywhere with people i would follow anywhere.
• faith in the dark.
• another tarot deck.
• a second home in a bar.
• i bought books, so many fucking books.
• the sisters who kept holding me through every rock bottom.
• a new nationality side quest.
• staying unapologetically insane.

here's hoping 33 is so goddamn worth it, because i crawled out of hell with my bare hands.